The family (extra relatives anyway) have returned home. The kids are watching movies and gorging on halloween candy. C is feeling better, and is actually home! The house is clean, and there is no projects that are pressing at the moment, so we are just chill.
I am going to my first “meeting” tonight. I looked at the AA website and I found a candlelight meeting tonight that is near my house. Candles are nice, at least there will be that… My therapist has convinced me that I should at least check a few out BEFORE I try to tell her that they suck and are stupid. That really is how I think I feel, but I made an agreement with myself to actually try to follow her advice. Um, mostly cause look where following my own instinct got me…. So, tonight, “Hi, my name is Angst and I am an addict.” Sweeeeeet. Good thing I have all day to build up nerve.
Oh, and today I have one week clean. Last weekend was shite, but I already wrote all about that, so I will just say that I am proud and feel kind of silly about it and also, cannot fucking believe that it has only been a week. It seems like a year. I seriously don’t even miss it much anymore. Suboxone is a fucking miracle and I can’t even imagine where I would be emotionally right now without it. Hmmmm. I am so grateful for this opportunity and I swear I am not going to fuck it up this time. Really. I am trying so hard, but even that seem kind of easy with the Sub. Fucking Miracle, I tell ya.
