So today is the day for implant #5. My anxiety and craziness about not knowing what the hell is happening in my body talked me into popping a couple of Vicoden last night. Bad idea i guess, but it did help with the anxiety. I wish I could kick that little voice out of my head. This is so much harder than I thought it would be, for some reason. I don’t know why I didn’t think it would be hard. I think I did, I just didn’t know quite how much power that addict voice would still have. I thought I would be able to shut it up with the Sub/Implant I have to say that I am feeling less than confident that this next implant will do the trick for me, but I haven’t given up hope completely. I hope and I hope because I really don’t know what I will do next if it doesn’t help me. No $$, no ins, etc, etc… Wish me luck!
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From everything I have read regarding Suboxone, there is no way that you could possibly feel any effects of other opiates with the so-called “blocker” that Sub provides? Perhaps I’m wrong, but are you sure that just “popping” a pill is making you THINK your getting something from it?
In any case, hang in there. And know that I am rooting for you!
Love,
Janice
Got my 5th implant, no big freaking deal, no change, jut same ole shit…. Sux
Hey man, whats up. I have a few pointers for you to “deal” with your addiction. I prefer to call it my disease/way of life. If you know that you’re the type of person that you know you are, then you know that some fuckin implant isn’t gonna do the trick for you. I mean, havin a blocker implanted in your body is good for maybe a few weeks, to keep a freshly detoxed junkie off the smack/pills — but beyond that it’s just a ploy for the doctors to make more money (to keep getting implants). I mean, come on, they’re putting something into your body that regulates what you would do naturally.
And what’s better than someone else regulating what you do naturally? That’s right — YOU regulating yourself! Believe me, I’ve been an addict for years (heroin mostly), and from what I’ve learned is that we are a specific kind of people that can’t be easily amused.. we can’t watch deal or no deal, tilt our heads back to hit the couch/chair, and have our brains flooded with endorphins with our eyes glued to the screen to see which fuckin case somebody took..
Anyways the deal is that we are thinkers, needing something else to fill those empty receptors in our brains besides TV, and that makes us special in a mostly positive way. The point of all this is that we will all go back to doing some sort of opiate, the point of this point is to learn to moderate your use. With moderating your use comes moderating your sickness, and as soon as you learn to enjoy yourself sometimes, and sometimes let yourself go sick for a few hours, then do less than normal to bring y our tolerance down, you’ll see that the whole addiction thing is not so bad.
learn to moderate your sickness with time, patience, and kratom. kratom is a FUCKING WONDER DRUG FOR US JUNKIES!
Buy it by the quarter pound, for like 31 to 35 dollars, and see that it’s got like ten heavy fixes in there (if its good kratom), and measure up how cheap that is compared to buying “street” opiates, even how cheap it is compared to doctor visits and paying for suboxone. if you came straight off of suboxone onto kratom, and a few days of straight downing it or making tea twice a day, you will see and feel that addiction is in many forms (tv, alcohol, sex, etc..) and that there are many ways to moderate and control each of them.
good luck with your implant, good luck with your disease
frank