I am currently snuggled between my two little sickies watching the evil spongebob with my son and reading magazines with my daughter. They both still have fevers and now Mr. A&J does, too. So far I am well… I can only hope it stays that way.I guess Mr. A&J will have to take the day off tomorrow if the kiddos aren’t fever free by then. I hope he has a sick day to use as we can’t afford to lose the pay. Even Advil isn’t touching their fevers, so I guess we may have to go see the Dr if things don’t clear up soon.
It feels good to be home and taking care of them after being gone all day at school and such. I miss that part of my life, being home with my kids all of the time, although it pretty much sucked ass back then. I was so lonely and sad all the time, but looking back, there were some pretty awesome times too. Being able to crawl into the big bed with my babies and nap the afternoons away, dashing off to the park on a whim with no thought of homework (theirs or mine!), nursing entire afternoons away while watching trash tv and reading stories to my toddler.
Maybe that’s where these baby urges that I am having are coming from. My life was pretty unregimented back then, now I have schedules to keep up with, classes that I can’t miss, all kinds of pressure to be ON all the time. There are no jammie days anymore. That’s partly because my depression is better, I think, but also because I am freaking busy. And for some reason my ovaries can’t seem to get the picture that that is not my life anymore. Having a baby would not take me back to that place, I would just be unimaginably busy and trying to manage life with a baby. That is REALLY not what I want, even if my biological twinges are saying otherwise. Thank the goddess for vasectomies or Mr. A&J would have given in to my crazy talk months ago and then I would really be screwed (although I would have health insurance, thanks to the state lol). Eh, enough rambling, runny noses and hacking coughs need my attention, and I want to give it to them.
