I Am Not the New Me

but I’m not the old me either…

Sunday, sunday…. Sunday April 6, 2008

The homework is done, the mother in law is gone, the kids are out with their dad (who is taking a much needed day off) and I have time to blog.  So far I am keeping up with the school pace, but if history has taught me anything, it is week 3 that I need to fear.  Things roll along kind of quietly until then, and then BAM! shit starts to get out of control.  If I can stay on top of the readings and homework then I think I will be alright.

One of the best parts of keeping really busy, is that I have a great excuse for having a messy house. No one expects a crazy full time student mama to keep a clean house.  Hell, I could probably get away with feeding them TV dinners every night if I wanted to, lol.  But, alas, my nutrition class will prevent me from ever being able to do that in good conscience.  We will stick to the usual routine of pasta and salad.  Nutritious, even if it is boring.  At least they eat it.

I have decided that since it is spring and all, I am going to keep parking at the shuttle lot, shuttle in to school in the morning, and then walk the mile or so back every day as long as it isn’t pissing down rain.  So far, so good.  And I even had a great excuse to go buy some new Keens :)   The exercise feels good to my muscles and my mind.  I got a bit out of the habit of walking with the bad weather, and I am really proud that I am motivated to do even this small thing for myself.  Things have changed so much for me, it is hard to take in all of the changes sometimes.  I know that I am having the longest run of feeling “normal” (god I hate that word…) that I can remember.  I know that a good part of it is the Suboxone, but I also feel things changing.  I am learning new ways of handling my feelings and speaking my mind.  It feels really good, I must say.

Maybe one of these days I will have to change the name of my blog, I am starting to feel the twinges of actually BEING the new me.  Weird.  I certainly wasn’t expecting that.

 

back to busy Tuesday April 1, 2008

Filed under: chemistry, homework, scared, school — angstandjoy @ 8:00 pm

The new quarter started and I am crazy busy once again.  I am trying to figure out how my life will work with such a heavy class load and family life and all.  I know I will get it figured out, but this Chemistry class is scaring the crap out of me.  This woman is a fast talker and is expecting 2-3 hours of homework per night for her class alone.  I hope I can keep up…  I have a feeling I will be getting to know the staff of the Chem help lab pretty well, since we are doing a years worth of high school chem in 10 weeks.  FUN.  I think my other classes will be ok, at least not nearly as intense a the Chem.  Wish me luck, you all may not hear from me for a bit while I get my bearings.